One of my favorite songs is by the great David Bowie, “We can be heroes just for one day”. The words just speak to me! Okay, let’s be honest this could be because I’m a child of the 70s. Definitely could be that I found my way in life through the music of the 70s and 80s. Either way, music has a profound impact on us and how we remember parts of our lives. Even today this song is part of my favorite playlists, often one of the songs where I can still find myself singing into my hairbrush ready to jump on my bed. And yet I’m also keenly aware of how different the lyrics occur to me now.
“I, I will be King And you, you will be Queen Though nothing will drive them away We can be heroes just for one day We can be us just for one day”
What if we treated the people in our lives like royalty? If we wouldn’t let any petty moments get in the way of our love for them? Imagine if we took the time to really connect to their dreams for their lives. Even better, what if we supported them in being the heroes in their own story? How would they feel if we allowed them to just be themselves?
Imagine the impact this would have on everyone around us. To be honored and loved for who they are with no expectations of them needing to change. Without asking them to be different because it’s more suitable for us. To always remember and honor what drew us to them in the first place. How would their lives change even in just one day?
“Though nothing, will keep us together We could steal time, just for one day We can be heroes, for ever and ever What d’you say?”The song is about a boy and a girl on separated by the Berlin wall and no matter how much they are in love their love they can never be together. No matter how much they loved each other they were separated by a barrier that was insurmountable. I remember when the Berlin wall came down in 1990. I was in grade 10 and was just beginning to be curious about the world outside of what I knew about. The wall was built to keep people apart, to separate people by beliefs. A problem that continues to exist in our world. The news and divisiveness like a reminder that we still have so much to learn about our behavior. To this day I can remember the images of celebration as the wall was torn down. The laughing, dancing, and parties that filled the streets that felt so loud that it was strong enough to overpower anything.
A replaying storyThis sad love story has been told over and over in songs and movies. The impossible love and the lengths we will go to for it. The ending is always the same, that perfect moment when love is found and how the whole world is filled with joy and happiness. It’s like they forgot to show us how to keep it. Or they know what we can see in our everyday lives? That we stop trying the minute we have what we worked so hard to have. What happens right after that moment when we have found the love we want so much? When it is there for us every day? How often do we put our loved ones last? Do we put things like work or school ahead of everyone we love? How often do we allow small things to turn in the big things? How often do we place a wall between ourselves and our loved ones? A wall the size of the Berlin wall that is made out of unmet expectations and regrets.
“I, i wish you could swim Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim Though nothing, nothing will keep us together We can beat them, for ever and ever Oh we can be heroes, just for one day”
What if we were free to play like dolphins living in the vastness of the ocean? And what if the strength of our relationships was held together by nothing? This has always been an interesting thought for me. What if we were free to do what we want when we want and choose to be together?
So often we discount our lives and the people in it as distractions, frustrations and the reasons we are unhappy. We are mad at our spouse for the one moment in the day that they didn’t meet our expectations and we miss the rest of the moments that they exceed them. We get frustrated at our kids for being kids. For grappling with growing up into who we expect them to be. We believe our friends have let us down when the cancel an event or when they are busy.
Turning one day into every dayHow do we get back to being dolphins? Playing in the ocean with unlimited choices of where to go… isn’t that who we are? Don’t we have a whole world to play in? Can’t we choose to make everything fun? What if we decided to treat the people in our lives with the same curiosity and excitement that we had when we chose them for our lives? What would be different about how we interacted with them? Can you imagine the people in your life feeling so loved and honored every day? Or even how it would feel to see the people in your life thrive? To me, there is nothing more important than this. Creating real relationships that honor the amazing people in my life for who they are. A lifetime of helping others live their best lives, to know they are loved and helping them awaken their inner strength.
The life of dolphins
I remember the first time I saw Dolphins blowing bubbles and thinking they just had it all figured out. How had they managed to make breathing fun?
They live together in cohesion, each having their shining moments as they race through life. Together they hunt and defend each other. There is something so beautiful about how they glide through life. A sense of grace and dancing through the day, enjoying being side by side with the others around them. Each enjoying moments where they seem to fly through the air without the need for jealousy or competition from others.