Have you ever had one of those moments where you realized that you had the answer all along? Over the past few years I’ve learned this lesson over and over. And let’s be honest, it was there before but I chose to be blind to it.
What’s the lesson?
I am my own best teacher! It turns out that I needed to keep facing this lesson until the learning became clear. So now what? Well what I’ve found is that now that I get the lesson, the real work is in using it!
Facing my own patterns
In becoming self aware and choosing self accountability I’ve learned one important thing. We each have patterns, ways of doing things, ways of thinking. Sometimes they serve me, and sometimes they don’t. What’s tricky is that the same pattern serves me sometimes and hurts me for others.
My favorite example, I love to help people. When I see someone struggling or facing something I jump right in and offer help. Sounds great right? So, let’s explore some other perspectives.
- Have I even looked to see if you asked for help? Or just needed an ear?
- Did I stop and ask what you needed to face your situation?
- By immediately offering help am I empowering you to problem solve, stretch your ability and empower yourself to find the solution?
- Did I even stop to see if I am the best person to help? Check my schedule to see if I have the time? Or look at how helping may affect me?
Courage is the key to life
So what’s the biggest challenge? Well for me it has been understanding my patterns and having the courage to face them! So how did I do that? Well… it takes a few steps. Some will be easy and some a bit harder. But all are important.
- Observe yourself: To know what your patterns are, it takes observing yourself, looking for how you face situations. And the hard part is doing it without judgement, or trying to change it. Simply knowing is all we are going for here.
- Brainstorming: It’s all about look for what other options were available. You see, in the moment it can be really hard to stop and hold space for yourself to explore ideas. You see we are hardwired to solve things, and the pressure to do I now. And let’s not exclude that we only see through our own perspective and experiences. This is what I love about brainstorming, it allows me to look at ALL possible options without any judgement limits or expectations.
- Decide on 1 thing I can do to address my pattern. This doesn’t need to be big, it can be a question I ask myself before acting, or a 5 min meditation that holds space to explore my day. What matters… using courage!
I know this all sounds a bit scary, after all looking directly into the mirror can be hard. So let me leave you with this, facing my worst days has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it has given me my life back!
How will you use your courage? Tell me about it in the comments.