If effort equaled the result we would all already have everything we wanted! We already have the desire for the result, we deeply and truly want to fit in those jeans, or have a certain body type, or have the life we want. No question we all believe that it will “make us happy if only we could…”. So if we have every tool we need, and the complete desire to get the result. Why is it so hard?
My truth… I have always struggled with personal body image, which has translated to struggle with food and my weight my whole life. Even as a young girl, I “knew” I was chubby, no matter how many people said it was cute baby fat. It doesn’t matter how many awesome words you put in front of fat, the result was still… fat.
It has always been a layer on top of everything else. No matter what joyful things were happening to me or around me, it’s like a backpack I carry with me every day. The weight of it always makes it impossible to see anything else.
So like you, I joined clubs I did everything they told me to do, and it worked. The success felt great like FINALLY, I would get that one thing in my way of happiness. It was like I was feet from the peak of the mountain, I could see the top, want it more than anything. And then just fall off.
If you are like me you have tried and failed 100 times. You have been on every roller coaster, you have gotten so close and lost your grasp on it. You have felt proud of the journey and then only days later felt like there is no way to get back on the path.
The depths I fell were worse every time. Just when I thought I couldn’t hit a new low!
Do you see the trend?
Recently I’ve noticed Oprah doing commercials for one of those classic programs. The truth is, I’ve tried the very same one with some short term successes. I hear their promise of 15% more loss than ever before. But here is the kicker, for as long as I can remember Oprah has been trying to lose weight. She has shown us so many tips, tricks, and favorite things. We have read books with her, cried with her, learned about food.
So why is Oprah also still struggling? I mean she has more money than anyone any of us can imagine. How can a woman with the ability to have everything not have what she keeps sharing she wants?
An interesting thing happened, someone asked Oprah why she loved her career and her answer was filled with passion about living her life’s meaning. That she was doing what she loved and was meant to be doing. When they asked her about her diet she said it was to not be fat.
Think about that for a moment, she has overcome so many obstacles in her career. Fought to be in her position, worked hard, failed and gotten right back up and tried again.
What’s different? Simply… it’s her intention.
The truth short and sweet
Like so many of us, she is still focusing on the wrong thing…. food and activity. It seems like the right place, I mean if you want to lose weight from food eat better food. If you want to remove fat burn it away.
Are you ready for it? This is the big reveal…
The truth is, those coach potato moments of being sad and crying while binging… yup still there! The negative self-talk that you are ugly and fat… yup still there. In fact, when people commented on my weight loss and how great I looked, I didn’t believe them. Why? Because I saw in the mirror what I felt. Unworthy, not good enough and fat!
Real change will only happen when you do
So what is the only way to make sustainable change real? You have to change your mind! You have to look in the mirror with kindness, be gentle and accepting. You have to say “I LOVE ME AS I AM TODAY!” “I AM GOOD ENOUGH TODAY” until you believe it. And even then do it more!
You have to dig in and uproot those old beliefs that are holding you back. You have to change those patterns that no longer serve you. No matter how necessary it was when you built that defense if you don’t need it anymore… let it go! And then do it again when you find it again.
How to get started
Together we will work through the fear or self-doubt that is often accompanied by change. We will overcome this together by re-framing negative self-judgment to a supportive and positive self-mantra.
As your partner, I will guide and inspire you through coaching and mindfulness to achieve a balanced life of mind, body, and spirit. Together we will identify and remove the hurdles, putting you back in the driver seat of living your unique life of wellness.