Recovery from high functioning PTSD and an Eating Disorder

I have spent my life keeping busy. At the height of it I was working 70-80 hours a week, volunteering over 1200 hours a year, over and above being a married mom of two. Five years ago I left this lifestyle, I even thought I had completed this part of my life. And now I can see, I have spent my life keeping busy because then I never had the time to deal with the pain, the thoughts, the emotions, the trauma. I was filling the space up to not feel. Continue reading

Embodied Self Regulation: How the Vayus help us

In February of 2020, after years of struggle and misdiagnosis, I was diagnosed with PTSD. The year that followed focused on therapy, filled with tears and healing. I never expected the vayus would be so helpful.  Part of the healing came from looking at my past and present with fresh eyes, embodying this experience allowed me to understand how my experiences were living in my body. Look into my patterns and the beliefs I had developed over my life. It wasn’t easy and a continual work in progress. But each time I do it, I find the freedom I never Continue reading

I am not resilient: A story of discovery and recovery

Should we be resilient? Or human? I am a human being. And until recently, I didn’t understand what that meant. So, this is my story of discovery and recovery, and my battle with being resilient. There was a traumatizing moment in my childhood where the playful curiosity immediately faded, and I began carrying the backpack of PTSD. I layered in expectations judgments and added trauma responses in my life, each like a brick added to the pack. Year after year, decade after decade, I created and carried my backpack of bricks. Each moment of my life was witnessed, experienced, and Continue reading

Awakening your inner strength: A journey to empathy

Deep within us is a sacred space—where our true self lives, where our empathy, authentic strength and love live. When we struggle, we forget it is even there. Think back to being a kid. Do you remember the freedom we felt as we played? How was the tree always climbable? How was the wave that knocked us over always so much fun? Then ultimately, as we face failure, this faith in ourselves fades. Each time, we create beliefs that protect us from the pain of a future failure. Over and over again, we limit ourselves with thoughts that we are Continue reading

I do yoga so I can bend and not break

When I meet new students, I ask why they love yoga and want to dive deeper into their yoga practice. I always love hearing each answer as it gives me an insight into their experience and how I can support them. Today I want to tell you about the answer that most affected me. Her response was, “I do yoga, so I can bend and not break.” Her answer reminded me of how often I hear people say they don’t do yoga because they “aren’t flexible enough” or “not bendy enough.” Each time I hear this, my heart breaks a Continue reading