When my confidence wavers

Have you ever had one of the days, or cluster of days, when your confidence is just gone? We face many things that can shake us slightly or rattle our core. What’s important is how you get it back.

Eight steps to rebuilding confidence

1. Connect with the people who build you up

There’s no greater way to rebuild confidence than unconditional love. Look to your family, friends, or community to be reminded that you are a good person. This is a crucial first step to rebuilding how you feel about yourself.

2. Acknowledge what happened

No matter what caused the loss, there is no point in pretending it didn’t happen. So, take the time to acknowledge it. Facing it head-on can be the most powerful way to change course.

3. Remember who you are

Our monkey mind is a potent disrupter of our confidence. Take time to take stock of what is great about you. This can be hard to do; we are, after all, our best critics. So, be gentle, start with things you are proud of and challenges you have faced, and if you need help, call a friend.

4. Refer back to your goals

Often, I lose confidence when I lose my way while working towards a goal. This is why it is important to write our goals down to refer back to them and remember how it felt when you planned them out.

5. Remove yourself from toxic environments

We often stay too long with people or places that are toxic to us. This drains our energy, the same energy we need to maintain our mental health, which is key to our confidence. It can feel like we don’t have a choice, but we do. While it can be challenging to change, remember you control your life. You are allowed to set healthy boundaries!

6. Talk with a coach, mentor, or therapist

Talking with a third party is a great way to discuss a situation and find your power. Your session is a safe place to work through your experience and connect with what matters to you most.

7. “Fake it till you make it”

What a load of BS! This phrase sets us up to step over and hide how we feel. When struggling, the worst thing we can do is ignore it. This is the perfect time to discuss how we feel with someone we trust. Sometimes they will help you see how capable you are; others will stand next to you as you acknowledge you need help. Either way, while healing your confidence, remember you are not alone. 

8. Give yourself time

It can take time to rebuild your confidence; think of yourself as the holder of your healing space. Protect your healing environment and be compassionate to what you find.


No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinicians.

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